ZJ's Narrative - Agender Goddess Worship
In the middle of my spiritual awakening, I moved to the beautiful country of Costa Rica. During that time of my life, I was completely unapologetic about my complex emotions. In addition to losing God, I had come out as queer and experienced the death of a close friend in his early twenties.
I had little to no ability to hold my emotions in. I would tell anyone who would listen my life story, in English and as I grew, also in Spanish. Looking back, I realize that this is not how I want to live forever. At the time, unlimited expression was liberating.
In the town I was living, I discovered a small community of Costa Rican women that practiced yoga and worshiped a goddess. I was invited to participate in their circles and blessings. I learned that this goddess was all goddesses who have been represented throughout various cultures.
My criticism of God's gender was met in this community, and the thealogy of womanhood as a blessing. We participated in womb prayers, which was powerful, since I have not always felt connected to those parts of me.
However, after leaving that community, I chose not to continue worshiping the goddess. I knew all women did not have wombs, and that many people with wombs did not consider themselves women.
The conclusion I have come to now is that affirming a feminine being as "goddess" is powerful, and good, especially in a society that has worshiped a masculine god for the past several centuries.
However, conflating femininity with biology is dangerous for trans folks. Some of the most prominent goddess worshipers (mostly in the US and Europe) say trans women should not be included in worship. I know there is potential for change here, but I do not know if this religion is a safe place to explore my agender identity.
I had little to no ability to hold my emotions in. I would tell anyone who would listen my life story, in English and as I grew, also in Spanish. Looking back, I realize that this is not how I want to live forever. At the time, unlimited expression was liberating.
In the town I was living, I discovered a small community of Costa Rican women that practiced yoga and worshiped a goddess. I was invited to participate in their circles and blessings. I learned that this goddess was all goddesses who have been represented throughout various cultures.
My criticism of God's gender was met in this community, and the thealogy of womanhood as a blessing. We participated in womb prayers, which was powerful, since I have not always felt connected to those parts of me.
However, after leaving that community, I chose not to continue worshiping the goddess. I knew all women did not have wombs, and that many people with wombs did not consider themselves women.
The conclusion I have come to now is that affirming a feminine being as "goddess" is powerful, and good, especially in a society that has worshiped a masculine god for the past several centuries.
However, conflating femininity with biology is dangerous for trans folks. Some of the most prominent goddess worshipers (mostly in the US and Europe) say trans women should not be included in worship. I know there is potential for change here, but I do not know if this religion is a safe place to explore my agender identity.
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